What is vulnerability?
Vulnerability is opening yourself up—presenting yourself so that you may face criticism. Vulnerability is creating a story and letting commenters say what they will. Vulnerability is saying exactly what you love with the fear of being looked down upon. Vulnerability is exposing your belly to the world and your enemies.
This is something I think about all of the time. On the internet, I am more vulnerable than many but less vulnerable than others. Some people will expose their entire identity, leaving the core of themselves open to scrutiny. I haven’t gone that far, but I do openly engage in discourse, and tell people the things I love.
I make it no secret that I love vampires, girls love stories, and many other things I have said openly. There are times when I truly regret exposing myself for a moment, yet I continue to do it, and I continue to thrive despite that.
Everyone is scared to expose themself. Nobody wants to present their belly to people who could potentially be their enemy. What happens when you tell the world, “I love painting!”
You shout your love of the arts from the rooftop, and then you paint something you find beautiful. You post it online, and many others see the beauty of your painting. However, there is that one commenter.
“This painting sucks.”
The worst thing about comments like these is it requires nothing of the other person. Did they present a vulnerability? No.
You spent hours of your life painting, and then you were vulnerable. Someone attacked that vulnerability. I think this is why many people stop being open. Nobody wants to present their belly, only for it to be stabbed in the next instance.
I’ve had this happen to me before as well. I’ve written stories, gotten feedback that wasn’t constructive, and I took it personally. It feels like a personal attack when you open yourself up. And it’s a cowardly move by the attacker to strike at that moment.
I’ve experienced comments filled with hate. I have experienced people attacking things I love without ever telling me something they love. It’s so easy to take these attacks and want to give up. It’s happened to me numerous times.
Yet, I will never seek your pity or sympathy. I will continue to make posts like this. I will continue to write stories that I and other people can enjoy. I will continue to tell people on forums about my interests and share some of my beliefs.
I will not stop being vulnerable even if there are trolls who exist. This is because I believe that there is strength in vulnerability.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
RepresentingEnvy (En-Chan)
Envy-Chan Blog 